Round-up of Norwegian Affairs

It’s that time again! It’s time for your sloth on the ground to report what’s going on in Norwegian political affairs. (Do try to contain yourselves, everyone)

Socialists (SV) 3.4%: Poor showing from the lefty academics. Unfortunately for them they’ve had to become used to results like these, so hopefully they won’t weep into their Chardonnay for too long.

Labour (AP) 40.2%: This is a fantastic result for Labour. Also inconvenient for them that it didn’t come a month earlier, during election time. But, oh well, it’s also probably an exaggeration of how well they’re really doing. They’ll be happy to have finalised negotiations with Socialists and Greens to take control of Oslo.

Farmers (SP) 5.6%: After a great local elections, the Farmers will be upset to slip. In all the excitement of the budget recently, coverage of their key topics of taking Norway back to the 1950s has had poor coverage.

Greens (MDG) 4.2%: For all their talk of being an independent party, it seems they have an awfully close relationship to the lefties. Makes sense, I suppose, seeing as many of them were members of lefty parties before the amount of credible policies to remember scared them away. Now they don’t have to remember much beyond wearing pistachio coloured shirts and shouting “Green shift!” at passers-by.

Christians (KrF) 5.6%: The Christians are looking increasingly uncomfortable in the company of the Populists and it will be interesting to see if they jump ship. Sources close to the party say their prayers are increasingly filled with the Labour leader whisking them up in his arms.

Liberals (V) 5.2%: This is a centre of the road result for the Liberals. They are more comfortable than the Christians in bed with the Conservative-Populist government; they seem to enjoy cutting taxes to the richies and being hypocritical when it comes to environmentally friendly policies.

Conservatives (H) 20.3%: This is a very poor showing for the Conservatives. The Conservatives, who have been the glue holding the Christians and Populists together, are noticing the strain.

Populist (FrP) 12.8%: The section of the population to which thinks it makes economic sense to raise welfare and lower taxes have helped the Populist have a small bounce back. Their leader is also doing a good job of pretending not to be in government by making a big fuss about having to be compassionate to Syrian refugees.

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